Which Boob Are You?

Valentine's Day is looming. Yep, looming...like dark clouds, tax time or an impending bikini wax. But never fear, I'm not about to launch into a tirade about Valentine's Day (another time, I promise), I'm going to let you in on a little secret that could hotten everything up and save you some cash to spend on yourself.

It has come to may attention - after speaking with every guy I know - that when it comes to our most popular womanly asset (boobs, hoo-hoos, titties, cans, taters, rack...they call them so many different names!) there are in fact 3 levels of "Boob", or boob sightings. If you thought wearing your sexy low cut top on V Day was the pinnacle of displaying your Girls then here's a newsflash: your low cut top is actually the bottom rung of Boob.

According to the guys, Side Boob is far far superior to Top Boob (aka normal cleavage). Maybe its because more is on display, but I believe it's because its less likely to happen. To find a picture for this blog (since sadly I don't do side boob too well myself) I entered "side boob" into Google and lo and behold there are entire websites dedicated to this phenomenon!


Lindsay Lohan's extreme Side Boob


However, general consensus is that the most superior Boob of all is the ever elusive Under Boob. In case you're thinking "what the hell is that?!" let me clarify. Its when your boobs stick out the bottom of a crop top. So rare it basically only exists in pornos, 80's video clips and anytime Pamela Anderson is shown on TV. If you thought she just has a penchant for ill fitting tank tops, think again. And you guessed it...when I typed "under boob" into Google there were websites galore. Its proven!


Just another red carpet even for Ms. Anderson, Queen of Under Boob

So for this economically challenged Valentines Day, why not give your man a flash of your Under Boobs? Its free and apparently the best of its kind.