I usually walk home from work in a feeble attempt to burn off my afternoon sweets. Strolling along
Victoria St on Friday evening jabbering away to my best friend S-J on the phone, a sight so unfortunate and pained caught my eye and made me stop dead in my tracks. (Let it be known that S-J and I could continue conversing through snow storms, World Wars and Boxing Day sales, so it is indeed very rare to stop mid sentence).
Walking just ahead of me was a young, attractive, fabulously dressed female in her early twenties, clearly on her way to the newest, coolest place in town. But it was not her up-to-the-minute hair cut, or her perfect mix of accessories that caught my eye. Oddly, she appeared to be impersonating a robot or a zombie from Michael Jackson’s Thriller (before they break into dance). When I looked down, I expected to see her leg in a cast or in the mouth of a savage dog. But no, the reason for her impairment was an ailment that affects many women, young and old, of every size and shape: Fashionable Shoe Syndrome (FSS).
FSS is not fatal, but it can have lasting, crippling effects. It is not clinically contagious, but is most often found running rife through similarly minded women who spend time together, particularly on weekends or at hen’s nights. It is most prevalent in women in their late teens, twenties through to mid thirties, often petering out as women produce children or develop a taste for comfort. FSS is triggered by the countless fashion glossies at the newsagency (both local and International), websites such as Net-A-Porter, the Sex and the City Movie, Rosemount Fashion Week and Cosmopolitan Shoes in Double Bay. FSS was already beginning to cripple this poor girl and the night looked to have just begun. The trigger was particularly strong, even the savviest high-heelers know this pain: The much feared (and coveted) Chloe “strain” from SS08…Ouch!
I myself have had FSS from time to time, mostly developed over a lengthy period of exposure to particular strains that may otherwise not affect me if I was sitting down at dinner (instead of dancing and then walking home). I imagine most of you have experienced something similar at some point. However, I hesitate to expose myself to this ailment after having witnessed this poor girl’s painful and absurd gait. I am adamant that I would rather look short yet mobile, than so-right-now and physically impaired. Spare a moment to consider the ill effects…and fight FSS!!
Well, at least until Friday night…
The evil yet hot culprits...